One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.”
My story does not begin with “once upon a time”
It starts from the end, the moment of a catastrophic accident
It only took few minutes for the flames to transform into music
A minute before, and a minute after
My goodness; how walls could tumble down in such short time
I was caught in a minute in between
Time stopped, I was afraid, so afraid that I felt undressed
I walked into her room and she was in full bloom
Inhaling, exhaling colors I’ve never seen
She was reading my book, the book in which I scattered bits of my soul
Sprinkled every atom, every drop of ink, leaving the pages glitter
I’ve hidden my secrets between the letters of my story
And she managed to expose me completely, as she was lying on her bed
in her white nightgown, crossing legs in the most graceful sense
And no, it wasn’t my room, the scene was not sexual in any form
It was hers, but the bars were golden, and they were high
She locked me in as she was reading my pages, and she smiled
She flipped my pages at ease, while she was crossing her legs
I’m transparent now, I can never hide when she’s around me
She invaded a hidden area in my mind
My absolute fear and her absolute grace
© 2013 ALIA SULTAN
on a mission;
A journey of questions
that had no answers
I was afraid
of the circle
that had no center
but only an unfixed circumference
As Earth orbited around its axis
It played havoc
With the rhythm of my heart
So I decided to frost …
There were two black crows
with piercing eyes
That possessed my surrounding
She gave me a dove
with the most powerful vibes
As it spread its wings
It transformed my agony
To small vanishing pieces
And it flaps it wings
It does not rest
so the sun would shine in the night
She is that one thunder
that helps me awaken
from the nightmares that
suffocate me when I sing
She is the breeze of spring
That breathes into
the winters of my soul
So I am defrosting now…
She told me that
I was the question
And in my mirror
Portrayed was my answer
© 2013 ALIA SULTAN
Time is endless in thy hands, my lord. There is none
to count thy minutes.
Days and nights pass and ages bloom and fade like
Thou knowest how to wait.
Thy centuries follow each other perfecting
a small wildflower.
We have no time to lose, and having no time we must
scramble for our chances. We are too poor to be late.
And thus it is that time goes by while I give it to
every querulous man who claims it, and thine altar is
empty of all offerings to the last.
At the end of the day I hasten in fear lest thy gate be
but I find that yet there is time.
“I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.
“Augustus,” I said.
“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
-”The Fault in Our Stars”, John Green