Inspiration is unexplainable; how it takes shape out of nothingness and forces you to create something out of nothing and make it so beautiful, or ugly enough to be beautiful.
On the path that she was randomly and aimlessly taking down the green hills and in between the blue and white hyacinths there was a river. She stood there in the middle of the glade which was located somewhere she was not familiar with, her eyes tried to encompass everything as she gasped; the kind of gasp that is only heard before such splendid beauty that even the thoughts in your mind would stop to admire. And somewhere in the middle of all the colors, there were the pinks of dawn, so rich in color it almost stained her white dress.
On her skin were patches, they were not visible to the eyes but they were deeply, disturbingly felt, like poison. She held her hair as if a ponytail and swayed her left foot on the surface of the river
“What was that making the river so luminous, so alive?” She did not understand, as the sun was not visible yet. Nothing was flowing along with the river, there absolute silence besides her breath and the waterfall.
The water was a bit cold, but not cold enough to make her think twice about testing the waters further. She kneeled down to clutch the bottom of her dress in both of her hands so she would dip her legs fully inside. And as she did, the patch on her upper right leg detached from her skin and immediately dissolved into nothing in the water, and a tingling feeling of relief ran through her veins. Without thinking twice, she dipped both of her legs and drenched her body in water, and it was as if the water kept reducing the weight of something she carried for long. She looked up at the sky and thought she must have spent at least six hours here, but could the same thing that was making the river glow, make time as weightless as a feather?
She opened her eyes and it was 3 a.m and something was different; there wasn’t a hint of a patch left on her skin.
But where is the river? And where is the secret glade ?
© 2015 ALIA SULTAN
To love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
I want to be the one who calls you beautiful every day. Who texts you goodnight and sweet dreams, and then good morning and that I hope you have a great day. I want to be the one to kiss your forehead, nose, then lips. To intertwine our fingers when I grab your hand, whether were walking around on a date or sitting on the couch watching a movie. I want to make you your favorite food while you sit on the counter and talk to me. I want to open your doors, and pull out your chairs. I want to make you smile when you’re crying and it seems almost impossible. I want to talk to you until you completely forget what you were upset or stressed about. I want to take you out to lunch and on fun, spontaneous, and exciting dates, and to a nice restaurant every now and then. I want to surprise you with flowers when you least expect it. Write you notes whenever I can, and make you CDs for your car. I want to meet your family and hangout with them and be as comfortable with them as I would my own. I want to let you win at games, but pretend like I didn’t. I want to be the one to play fight with you over something meaningless, like who has to remote, until we end up wrestling on the ground. I want to get your drink for you when were at a party together. I want to be the one to give you my jacket when you’re cold, even if it means im in a short sleeved shirt in the rain. I want to be the one to make you laugh uncontrollably and I want to make you feel comfortable and indescribably happy. Most of all though, I want to be the one to sweep you off your feet and make you feel how you’ve never felt before.